If Father Xmas isn’t real . . . I’m curious

<p>Remember when you first found out Father Xmas wasn’t real?</p>

<p>I vividly remember for two memorable reasons, which interestingly enough had nothing to do with the point of its fabrication. I still think anticipating Father Xmas makes childhood Xmas fun and so I have never considered it in the light that I had been lied to.</p>

<p>Father Xmas’s demise began a few days before Xmas when the slightly ajar door of my parent’s bedroom beckoned my 5 year old adventurer to explore its forbidden territory. I remember silently creeping in, so compelled was I to look inside the wardrobe I threw normal caution to the wind. My bravery reaped its rewards. Inside was a huge box, full of brand new toys. On the top in glorious fire engine red, lay a ukulele slightly propped on top of a lunch box of similar red with a brown leather strap or so my memory begs to recall. My Mothers voice caused me to scurry out and hide away but not before she caught me escaping down the hallway. “Were you in my bedroom?” My denial clearly stated the rules “No Mummy, I’m not allowed in their” I was hoping the ukulele and the lunch box were for me.</p>

<p>Finally it was Xmas morning and I could see Father Xmas had indeed found me at my Nana and Granddads house. The light from the street lamp illuminated the end of my bed and the pillow case full of Fathers Xmas’s gifts. I couldn’t believe it, poking out from the top of the pillow case was what looked like the very same red ukulele and lunch box. I was face to face with my first major life dilemma.</p>

<p>I could never admit to this new piece of information without getting myself into trouble and if I did say hey I know who Father Xmas really is would that mean I was eliminated from receiving future presents. On hindsight my 5 year old narcissistic concerns and consequent decision to not say a word was developmentally normal, their was no way I was going to deliberately get myself into trouble or miss out on anything good because of what – the truth. Hell No! </p>

<p>What I began to question years later was my unquestioning belief in certain aspects of life which in the end didn’t stand up to questioning. If we believe it is ok to create a delusion around a jolly chubby bearded man in a red suit bringing us gifts, even with good intent the same could apply to many things. I soon learnt however there were rules to challenging underlying family or social assumptions. </p>

<p>There were some that are acceptable and some, well lets just say it seems as if you had done nothing less than spit in the face of society and all human kind right back through the centuries. To dare challenge the unsubstantiated status quo can require a bravery that cannot wilt under the force of disapproving or threatening glares if you dare to ask “so I’m curious, what’s the evidence” The venturing to the left can upset the people on the right.</p>

<p>Listen to people for the next week and listen for their beliefs. More importantly listen to yourself over the next week and hear your own beliefs. Really seriously, listen! If listening is not something you have thought to purposely pursue before, you are in for an interesting week. I actively encourage my coaching clients to practice this often enough to become an automatic habit. If nothing else you can hear yourself come out with some spectacularly unhelpful BS beliefs that are so automatic we no longer notice them. Awareness is one of your most powerful self development tools. </p>

<p>Critical thinking or challenging the underlying assumption is the way of personal excellence and social progress – so get curious and ask questions and even if no satisfactory answer is forthcoming, stop and notice the reaction, sorry I meant response.</p>